Ohmigosh, I have so much Los Angeles to catch up on!
Ok, so, Medieval Times. Only go to this with children or with alcohol. Or maybe both. I take a youth group every year and it's hysterical. I mostly spend the time thinking about all the money and work that has to go into the training and keeping the horses and wondering how they stay in business. Ticket price includes a paper crown, a meal of soup, garlic bread, chicken, a rib, a potato, and an apple turnover. It's actually pretty good.
My favourite part is always the conversations I have during the event, like this one:
Me: Aww, he's bald and he works at Medieval Times. My Friend: It could be worse, he could be obese.
Know before you go:
Goldstar events often have tickets at a hefty discount. For God's sakes, don't pay full price to go.
They do sell alcohol there.
They sell swords there. Real ones. Bring your Benjamins if that's the kind of thing you're into.
Medieval Times 7662 Beach Boulevard Buena Park, CA 90620 (866) 543-9637
It's nearly impossible to give Disneyland a rating. I mean, everyone should go to Disneyland at least once. It's Disneyland. If you were like me, and couldn't afford the Disney channel growing up, D-land isn't necessarily going to be as magical as it is for some people. But I'm sure most of you (at least most people who would be reading this blog) have seen all of the Disney classics and have a special place in your heart that gets all warm when you hear "When You Wish Upon A Star."
So, I will leave Disneyland rating-less. It's just too hard. The entrance price is ridiculous, and the food tastes like asshole, but there's fireworks every night, and a parade every day, and oh my God they brought back Captain EO.
Captain EO was by far my favourite ride. I hadn't heard of it before I went, but apparently it was a big thing back in the 80's. I was told that Michael Jackson was involved, so I was all for seeing it, but had no idea what I was in for. Turns out what I was in for was a short film about Michael Jackson as the captain of an alien spaceship and his muppet crew. They go to some outerspace junkyard land that is ruled by the Supreme Leader that looks like the alien from Alien mixed with Medusa, except with snakes for legs instead of hair. Then MJ's rainbow shirt lights up and he turns the Supreme Leader's evil guards into backup dancers with his special Care Bear Stare. They dance and sing then MJ gives the Supreme Leader the ultimate gift - he turns her into Anjelica Huston. So basically what I'm saying is that it was the best movie I've ever seen. AND, it was in 3D so Michael Jackson dances, like, ON your face. Worth the entire trip to Disneyland.
I'm also a big fan of Space Mountain.
So, go to Disneyland if you haven't been. Watch Captain EO and buy a big gay rainbow shirt in the store afterward. Ride Space Mountain. Give your kids nightmares by taking the time to go to Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki House (as my friend put it, "You sit in this room and fake birds sing at you for 8 minutes." - It was exactly that, but I will add that it is terrifying and that outside is one big slightly offensive Dole commercial).
Know before you go:
Avoid the Pizza Port. I'm assuming anywhere else you decide to eat would be a better choice.
Lots of people in Los Angeles work for Disney. These people can get you in for free. So check with your friends before you go to avoid having to sell a limb to gain entrance.
Check each ride to see if they give out single rider passes. You will be able to avoid most of the line, and often end up riding with your party anyway.
For your enjoyment, I'm including a video of part of Captain EO. It's not in 3D and isn't the whole show, so you may want to hold off and just see the real thing. But just in case you're dying to see it (as you should be), here it is:
Nickel Diner is a solid 3 Smile diner. The food is decent. The atmosphere is a mixture of hipster and old people (and a bunch of anime convention attendees with brightly colored wigs - but I think that's only because the Anime Convention was in town). The noise level was a bit loud for my taste; it's a good place to take someone you don't really want to talk to. Overall, I've had better, I've had worse.
Well, then why bother writing about it at all?
Because the serve bacon donuts.
Yes, those are donuts with real bacon sprinkled on top.
When my lunchmate finished her lunch she said, "I'm fattened and happy," and then she started pawing at the air with her hands. I asked if she was kneading like a kitten, and she said, "Yes, in anticipation of bacon donuts." Girl knows how to prepare.
Anyhoo, the donuts were delicious. I think an improvement would be some maple icing smeared on top, but I'm not going to complain.
And I didn't try it, but the waitress mentioned a dessert called the Irish Car Bomb, which involved some sort of Guinness goodness outside and Jameson goodness inside. Any place that puts bacon and bourbon in their desserts gets a thumbs up from me.
524 South Main Street Los Angeles, CA 90013-1422 (213) 623-8301 Open Tue-Sat 8am-3:30pm, 6pm-11pm; Sun 8am-3:30pm
